What If We Stopped Treating Our Bodies Like a Problem to Solve?

I came across an Instagram post the other day that stopped me for a moment. It said, “Whenever you’re struggling with your body confidence, just remember how much you love all the women in your life, and how it has nothing to do with what their bodies look like.” What a beautiful reminder.

Let’s face it, body image can be a struggle. Women are working against unrealistic and inauthentic beauty standards every day. We live in a world of filtered images, photoshop, and AI, which skews our definition of “normal” and can lead to comparison and a feeling of “never enough.” Many of us are walking through seasons of life that bring physical changes including pregnancy, postpartum, and menopause. I wonder what would change if we didn’t have to view these seasons as the enemy, but rather a chance to re-establish a relationship with our bodies that isn’t based on appearance?

Body image is not only the way you view your body, but the way you talk to yourself about your body. Have you checked in recently with what your thoughts sound like? That inner dialogue holds a lot of power. When women are struggling with body image, I like to introduce the concept of body neutrality. Body neutrality is just viewing your body as neutral - not good or bad. If you struggle to find positive things to say about your body, try shifting your thoughts to something neutral instead, such as, “My body is what it is. I have the power today to do something that helps me feel healthy and strong.” We may not have the power to change our body, but we do have the power to make choices that support it. We also have power over the way we choose to talk about our bodies – both internally and outwardly.

I wanted to share a few common themes that have come up through my conversations with women about body image over the years. Here are a few:

1 – Even at their lowest weight or best physical shape, most women still experience some degree of body dissatisfaction (which tells us that the number on the scale or the body fat percentage probably isn’t going to magically change our relationship with our body).

2 – We spend way more time thinking about our bodies than anyone else is.

3 – Healthier choices typically lead to greater body satisfaction, even if nothing else changes.

We don’t have to love every inch of our bodies every day, but I do think we can accept and appreciate what our bodies do for us, even if we don’t love the way it looks. Two things can be true. This might sound something like, “I don’t have to love what my body looks like right now, and I’m grateful for what it’s done for me.” Keep in mind that acceptance does not mean complacency. We can accept our body for what it is in this moment, while also putting time and energy into building our body into a stronger or healthier version. Your body provides value beyond just what it looks like.

The people in your life that love you don’t love you because of the size or shape of your body. And I can promise you that the legacy you leave behind in this life will not include conversations about your weight or your body composition. Be kind to yourself, friends!