Hey Moms, Who’s Raging?

What is Mom Rage?

There’s a moment many moms don’t talk about. It might happen in the kitchen, when no one’s listening. It might happen in the car, in the bathroom, or behind a closed bedroom door. It’s not just being “touched out” or exhausted. It’s a flash of something hotter, sharper - a surge of anger that feels sudden, overwhelming, and completely out of character. This is what we would call mom rage.

Mom rage isn’t a diagnosis. It’s not a sign that something is “wrong” with you. It’s a real and valid emotional experience that many women go through, especially during the perinatal and postpartum seasons. You’re not broken. You’re not a bad mom. You’re a human being who has been pushed past her limits.. often silently, and often while forcing a smile.

What Leads to It?

Mom rage usually builds over time. It doesn’t come from nowhere. It grows in the gaps, between what’s needed and what’s available. Between how much care you’re giving and how little you might be receiving. Between what the world expects of mothers and how isolating the role can actually be at times.

Sleep deprivation, overstimulation, lack of personal time, hormonal shifts, invisible labor, and the constant demand to be emotionally present. All of this forms a kind of pressure cooker. Rage becomes the steam that escapes when there’s no more room left inside.

The Triggers

Triggers can be incredibly specific or entirely mundane. 

It could be your toddler spilling water for the third time in five minutes.
It could be your partner asking what’s for dinner.
It could be the sound of a toy that won’t stop.                                                                                                                                        It could be the dog barking, while the baby is crying and the toddler is whining.
It could be a perfectly normal moment, and that’s often what makes it so confusing and distressing. 

The trigger is usually just the match. The fire was already smoldering.

How to Begin Identifying Your Triggers

Getting curious, without judgment, is key. When did it start building? What happened earlier in the day? The night before? Was there a moment when you felt dismissed? Did you override a need for rest, quiet, food, or connection, and just continue to push through? Often, it’s not just about the immediate moment. Rage can be the voice for parts of you that feel unseen, exhausted, uncared for, or chronically overwhelmed.

The Role of Shame in Mom Rage

Here’s the part that cuts the deepest: after the wave of anger passes, shame almost always follows. Shame whispers things like, “What kind of mother yells like that?” or “Why can’t you just be more patient?” Shame turns a very human moment into a reflection of your worth, and that’s never the truth. Shame keeps mom rage in the dark. It silences the conversation, and in doing so, it isolates the very people who need the most support.

A More Hopeful Perspective

What if mom rage wasn’t a failure — but a signal? A signal that you’re carrying too much. That something matters deeply to you. That your nervous system is asking for care, not criticism.
You are not alone in this. You are not a bad person. You are a person who deserves space, grace, and understanding, just like anyone else. Let’s drop the stigma and stop pretending this part of motherhood doesn’t exist. Because when we name it, we can start to heal it.