What to Do When You Feel Like You’re Failing at Every Role You Play
You know those days where you collapse into bed and think:
“I wasn’t a very good mom today. I wasn’t a good wife. I was distracted at work. I forgot to text my friend back. I just feel… behind.”
If you’ve ever had that thought, join the club! Women tell us this all the time at The Counseling Co - right here in Overland Park, Kansas, and virtually across Kansas and Missouri. It’s like no matter how much you do, there’s always something slipping through the cracks. And that guilt? It’s heavy and exhausting.
So what do you do when you feel like you’re not measuring up in any of your roles as a mom, partner, friend, co-worker, or even just a human being trying to get through the day?
Here are a few things we talk about with our clients when those feelings show up:
1. Pause and Name What’s Really Going On
Instead of spiraling in the thought of “I’m failing,” try to pause and name what you’re actually feeling: tired, overwhelmed, stretched too thin, lonely, anxious. Putting words to it is powerful. It turns a vague sense of failure into something you can work with.
2. Remember That All of These Roles Overlap
You’re one person. You don’t have a separate brain for each role. When work is stressful, it spills into motherhood. When parenting feels hard, it impacts your marriage. This doesn’t mean you’re failing - it means you’re human. Seeing the bigger picture can help you be kinder to yourself.
3. Lower the Bar (Yes, Really)
Perfection isn’t sustainable, and trying to hit “100%” in every category every day will only lead to burnout. What would it look like to let dinner be takeout, let the laundry wait one more day, or say no to that extra project? Sometimes “good enough” really is good enough.
4. Build in Micro-Moments for You
You don’t need a week-long vacation to feel better (though that would be nice!). Even 5 minutes of deep breathing, stretching, stepping outside, or journaling can help you reset and show up more present in all of your roles.
5. Talk About It
One of the most healing things you can do is share how you feel with someone safe — a friend, a partner, or a therapist. We see women every day who feel like they’re “failing,” and together we untangle that story so they can see their worth clearly again.
You’re Not Failing, You’re Carrying A Lot
When life feels like too much, it doesn’t mean you’re broken or bad at your roles. It means you’re human and maybe you need a little more support right now.
At The Counseling Co, we specialize in helping women navigate the overwhelm, anxiety, and guilt that comes with wearing so many hats. If you’re in Kansas or Missouri (or near Overland Park!), we’d love to help you start feeling like yourself again.
Schedule a free 15-minute consult today to see if we’re a good fit.